[Artemisia] A funny

[Naima]

Message: 2
   Date: Sat, 14 Feb 2004 23:16:13 -0800 (PST)
   From: Reuben and Arwen 
<reuben_arwen at yahoo.com>
Subject: WAR!

The King of Atentireorra was in his pavilion 
wondering which Kingdom to fight next, when his 
farspeaker rang. "Greetings unto your Majesty!  A 
voice said. "This is Bejorn, up here in the Incipient 
Shire of Gryphon's Armpit in Artemisia.  I, the 
Seneschal, hereby proclaim that we are officially 
declaring war on the Kingdom of Atentireorra!"

"Well Bejorn," His Majesty of Atentireorra 
replied, "This is indeed important news!  How big is 
your army?"

"Right now," said Bejorn, after a moments 
calculation "there is myself, the deputy Herald, a
belly 
dancer, a merchant, and the whole cooks guild. 
That makes eight!"

HM of Atentireorra paused. "We must tell you 
Bejorn, that We have 1000 authorized fighters in Our 
army waiting to move on Our command."

"Leaping Laurels!," said Bejorn. "I'll have to 
call ye back!" Sure enough, the next business 
meeting, Bejorn called again. "Your Majesty, the war 
is still on!  We have managed to acquire some new 
weapons!"

"And what would they be Bejorn?", HM asked.

"Well Sire, we have two rubber band guns, a 
rapier, and a rock."

HM of Atentireorra sighed. "We must tell you 
Bejorn, that We have 300 knights, 55 men at arms, and 
75 squires.  Also We've increased Our regular 
authorized fighters to 2000 since we last spoke."

"Scabby Scotsmen!", said Bejorn, I'll be getting 
back to ye."

Sure enough, Bejorn rang again the next A&S. 
"Your Majesty, the war is still on!  We have managed 
to get ourselves a siege engine! We modified 
Greenwolf Ravensdotter's desktop trebuchet from 
Design Toscano, and the local LARPs have joined us as 
well!"

HM was silent for a minute then cleared his 
throat. "We must tell you Bejorn that We have 10 full 
sized trebuchets, 5 ballistas, and a rather large 
battering ram.  Just Our royal archery guard 
consists of 80 master crossbowmen and long-bowmen.  
And since we last spoke, We've increased Our 
authorized fighters to 5000!"

"Verminous Vikings!" exclaimed Bejorn,"I'll have 
to call ye back Sire." Sure enough, Bejorn called 
again the next dance practice. "Your Majesty of 
Atentireorra!  I beg leave to inform ye that we 
have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said HM. "Why the sudden 
change of heart?"

"Well, Sire," said Bejorn, "we've all  had a long 
chat over a few tankards of mead, and came to 
realize that there's no way we can
feed that many prisoners."

ARTEMISIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!  VIVAT!

(from Esther on our ssmideastguild group)
Naima

=====
Sayyida Naima bint Rashid al-Andalusiyya, CGP
Shire of Bronzehelm
Kingdom of Artemisia

Don't let other people's littleness bring out the littleness in you!

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