[Artemisia] Four Dons walk onto a battlefield...

Marten van Rosenveldt kendofencer at yahoo.com
Mon Feb 11 10:37:34 CST 2008


Now my experience may be atypical but as an Artemisian cadet I feel that the story fails to capture the almost ineffable languid j'ne se qua that is required of the incipient Courtier.  The trick is to achieve sprezzatura in all things, and none of the illustrations capture this concept.

Back to your regular programming.

Marten, Cadet to Maitre Guillaume

----- Original Message ----
From: B Wolf <idahobrad at cableone.net>
To: artemisia at lists.gallowglass.org
Sent: Friday, February 8, 2008 3:15:27 PM
Subject: [Artemisia] Four Dons walk onto a battlefield...

Adapted from other sources...


It's Estrella War, and four Dons are standing by a bridge battle, one from
Artemisia, one from Caid, one from Atenveldt, and one from the Outlands.
They're discussing who has the best cadets, and finally, the Outlander
decides to show how brave and skilled his cadets are.

"Cadet!"
The cadet arrives, bows, and stands at attention
"Yes, M'Lord."

"Assault that bridge single handedly, and then bring me a glass of wine
balanced on one finger!"

"Yes, M'Lord!" The cadet bows, assaults the bridge, taking a couple hands
and getting a headshot before being defeated, jogs across the camp, returns
with a glass of wine, carefully balanced on one finger.

"Ha, thats nothing," says the Caid Don, "Cadet!"
The cadet arrives, bows with a flourish, and stands at attention.
"Yes, M'Lord?"

"Using nothing but a dagger, assault that bridge, then bring me a stein of
mead balanced on your head!"

"Yes, M'Lord!!" The cadet bows, backs away, assaults the bridge, taking a
single hand before being defeated, runs across camp, and returns with the
stein carefully balanced on his cranium.

"Very good, really," says the Atenveldter,"But I'll show you a good cadet.
Cadet!"
The cadet arrives, kneels, and remains on his knees.
"Yes, Master?"
"Strip to boots, mask, and cup; assault the bridge with only a dagger, and
bring me a Martini balanced on the tip of your dagger."

"Yes, Master!!!" The cadet backs away on his knees, strips, assaults the
bridge, managing to kill two while the line is laughing, is
defeated, sprints across camp, and returns with the martini carefully
balanced on his tip.

The Artemisian Don nods, smiles, and says, "Impressive, very impressive."
He turns, and calls to his cadet, who is at the regen point eating some
oranges, "Cadet, bring me an orange!"

The Cadet turns and replies, "That's a big FU, M'Lord!!!!" dons his mask,
and returns to the fighting, throwing an orange rind blind over
his shoulder, and directly into his Don's boot.

The Artemisian Don, smiling smugly, says "Now THAT'S bravery and skill!"

-B

Baron K. Braden von Sobernheim, OL,OP,GA  Baron of Arn Hold
(Brad Wolf)
Do not anger a bard, for thy name is silly, and scans to Greensleeves.

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