[Artemisia] the ongoing list discussion...

[Iohne MacDhaibhidh]

Unto the good gentles of the List,

I have silently watched the posts of late to the Aerie
and struggled with myself. Part of me felt compelled
to respond, but my careful nature lead me to not want
to respond out of haste. After a bit of thought, this
then is my response. Allow me to apologize in advance
for it's length.  Also I apologize if you've recieved
this post twice as I've posted it to both the Yahoo
list and the gallowglass list.

I have seen a number of postings of disgruntled
individuals and the responses of those diametrically
opposed to their points of view and a developing
polarization to either side of the issue. While I
would not presume to force my opinions upon others, I
thought that I would share a few of my conclusions
none the less, with the hope that perhaps some would
find some morsel of truth in my words.

Firstly, allow me to admit that I too suffered a test
of faith when I moved to this kingdom. The exact
circumstances of that situation are irrelevant as that
now is water under the bridge. 

When I felt I had been wronged, my first knee-jerk
reaction was to point my finger accusingly about me in
wild gesticulations crying foul. That is after all
only human nature and no one could be faulted for
reacting according to instinct, at least at first.

After further thought however I came to what I thought
was one undeniable truth. You can not demand that
someone else be more chivalrous. It simply does not
work. The end effect of that action is an escalating
downward spiral where accusatory fingers are pointed
and harsh words are cast in all directions and no one
receives the recompense that they desire.

After coming to this epiphany I was left asking myself
"Now what am I supposed to do?" How are those who feel
wronged by what they perceive as a lack of chivalry on
the part of others to seek redress? (This is where I
feel my thoughts are analogous to the current
situation occurring on the Aerie, as both camps around
the issue clearly feel wronged.)

It was then that an oft repeated mantra of self-help
books and other such sources came to mind. "The only
person you can change is yourself". The truth of this
statement seemed to ring true. If I wanted to see more
chivalry, then clearly where I needed to start was
with myself. Chivalry it seems, is best propagated by
being chivalrous. It is a lesson that can only be
taught by example.

So I figured, what do I have to loose? Starting about
two years ago, I took this new realization out for a
test drive. At first I didn't even notice it, but as I
concentrated on improving my personal chivalry and
honor, others began to treat me differently and slowly
my enjoyment of this game we play began to return and
be enhanced. Now, I can say unabashedly, that I am
having the best time I've ever had in the SCA.

I have a few other points that I would like to add as
I feel they may be pertinent.

People often have varying points of view. If you ask
two witnesses of an accident what they saw, their
stories will wildly differ every single time. The
truth of what happened usually lies somewhere in
between. Try to understand each other's points of
view. Clearly something occurred and the honest
appraisal of the situation would have to lead one to
the conclusion that the truth lies somewhere in the
middle; by application of Occam's Razor.

I believe that anyone who is drawn to the SCA winds up
here because deep in their hearts they harbour a
desire to emulate the virtues that we describe as
chivalry and honor. One of the tenets of chivalry is
largesse (generosity). When interacting with others I
try always to be generous in my estimation of the
other person and apply the assertion that I put
forward in the beginning of this paragraph. I don't
know very many people who make a reasoned choice to do
things that they know are wrong, as people are mostly
compelled by a desire to do what they believe is right
according to their point of view of the situation.
When viewed in that light, other people's actions are
easier to understand and it becomes much harder to
assign nefarious intent.

Anyone who claims they are perfectly chivalrous is
deluding themselves. Chivalry is not a destination.
Neither is it a label that one wears on their lapel.
It is a long standing desire and struggle to combat
one's baser instincts. We are all just fallible human
beings aspiring to a higher ideal. That does not mean
that we are perfect. That means that we are trying to
become closer to perfect. We will screw up along our
journey that fact is a given. The truly chivalrous
will generously admit their faults and seek to redress
the wrongs their fallibility has brought about.

I remain as always in service to the ideal,

Lord Iohne MacDhaibhidh
Founder of la Maison du Sainte Elize
Diligent and proud member of the SCA and the Kingdom
of Artemisia

=====
Si hoc legere scis numium eruditionis habes.
Pluralitas non est ponenda sine neccesitate.
Terream non malas.

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