[Artemisia] the ongoing list discussion...

[Trischia Wadey]

_Very_ well put.  I had been searching for a way to say something along 
these lines... but could not have done a better job.  Your thoughtfulness 
and tact are much apreciated.
Aeschine


>
>Unto the good gentles of the List,
>
>I have silently watched the posts of late to the Aerie
>and struggled with myself. Part of me felt compelled
>to respond, but my careful nature lead me to not want
>to respond out of haste. After a bit of thought, this
>then is my response. Allow me to apologize in advance
>for it's length.  Also I apologize if you've recieved
>this post twice as I've posted it to both the Yahoo
>list and the gallowglass list.
>
>I have seen a number of postings of disgruntled
>individuals and the responses of those diametrically
>opposed to their points of view and a developing
>polarization to either side of the issue. While I
>would not presume to force my opinions upon others, I
>thought that I would share a few of my conclusions
>none the less, with the hope that perhaps some would
>find some morsel of truth in my words.
>
>Firstly, allow me to admit that I too suffered a test
>of faith when I moved to this kingdom. The exact
>circumstances of that situation are irrelevant as that
>now is water under the bridge.
>
>When I felt I had been wronged, my first knee-jerk
>reaction was to point my finger accusingly about me in
>wild gesticulations crying foul. That is after all
>only human nature and no one could be faulted for
>reacting according to instinct, at least at first.
>
>After further thought however I came to what I thought
>was one undeniable truth. You can not demand that
>someone else be more chivalrous. It simply does not
>work. The end effect of that action is an escalating
>downward spiral where accusatory fingers are pointed
>and harsh words are cast in all directions and no one
>receives the recompense that they desire.
>
>After coming to this epiphany I was left asking myself
>"Now what am I supposed to do?" How are those who feel
>wronged by what they perceive as a lack of chivalry on
>the part of others to seek redress? (This is where I
>feel my thoughts are analogous to the current
>situation occurring on the Aerie, as both camps around
>the issue clearly feel wronged.)
>
>It was then that an oft repeated mantra of self-help
>books and other such sources came to mind. "The only
>person you can change is yourself". The truth of this
>statement seemed to ring true. If I wanted to see more
>chivalry, then clearly where I needed to start was
>with myself. Chivalry it seems, is best propagated by
>being chivalrous. It is a lesson that can only be
>taught by example.
>
>So I figured, what do I have to loose? Starting about
>two years ago, I took this new realization out for a
>test drive. At first I didn't even notice it, but as I
>concentrated on improving my personal chivalry and
>honor, others began to treat me differently and slowly
>my enjoyment of this game we play began to return and
>be enhanced. Now, I can say unabashedly, that I am
>having the best time I've ever had in the SCA.
>
>I have a few other points that I would like to add as
>I feel they may be pertinent.
>
>People often have varying points of view. If you ask
>two witnesses of an accident what they saw, their
>stories will wildly differ every single time. The
>truth of what happened usually lies somewhere in
>between. Try to understand each other's points of
>view. Clearly something occurred and the honest
>appraisal of the situation would have to lead one to
>the conclusion that the truth lies somewhere in the
>middle; by application of Occam's Razor.
>
>I believe that anyone who is drawn to the SCA winds up
>here because deep in their hearts they harbour a
>desire to emulate the virtues that we describe as
>chivalry and honor. One of the tenets of chivalry is
>largesse (generosity). When interacting with others I
>try always to be generous in my estimation of the
>other person and apply the assertion that I put
>forward in the beginning of this paragraph. I don't
>know very many people who make a reasoned choice to do
>things that they know are wrong, as people are mostly
>compelled by a desire to do what they believe is right
>according to their point of view of the situation.
>When viewed in that light, other people's actions are
>easier to understand and it becomes much harder to
>assign nefarious intent.
>
>Anyone who claims they are perfectly chivalrous is
>deluding themselves. Chivalry is not a destination.
>Neither is it a label that one wears on their lapel.
>It is a long standing desire and struggle to combat
>one's baser instincts. We are all just fallible human
>beings aspiring to a higher ideal. That does not mean
>that we are perfect. That means that we are trying to
>become closer to perfect. We will screw up along our
>journey that fact is a given. The truly chivalrous
>will generously admit their faults and seek to redress
>the wrongs their fallibility has brought about.
>
>I remain as always in service to the ideal,
>
>Lord Iohne MacDhaibhidh
>Founder of la Maison du Sainte Elize
>Diligent and proud member of the SCA and the Kingdom
>of Artemisia
>

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