[Artemisia] Why don't people help at home? (long)

[Theodora (AKA Rachael)]

 My apologies to those who receive this twice - I also posted this message to the Sentinels' Keep list. So...What are some of the reasons people don't want to help in their own group? DISCLAIMER:  I am sepaking on my own behalf.  I am just throwing these things out to provoke thought.  Please **DO NOT** take these as "thinly veiled comments".  Anyone that knows me knows I am more direct than that.  These are also general points that may or may not apply in your situation.  YMMV. 1)  Friends in other places:  People sometimes have more of a relationship with people that live outside of their own group than they do in their home group.  They might want to support their friend's endeavors.  They may feel that people in other places hold the same ideals or visions of the SCA that they do. 2)  People feel like it is someone else's turn for whatever reason.  There are people that have been officers for a long time that continue to do so out of a sense of duty.   There are others that walk away from it because they don't want to/can't do it anymore.  3)  Newer people don't always feel like they are given the opportunity or encouraged to take positions of "authority" in a group of established players.  Some do, but if the newer person is timid, they may feel like they are intruding on the group. 4)  Unclear expectations.  This is one I am guilty of:  I just assume that people know what to do.  If nobody takes the time to explain things thoroughly to someone who is interested, it can lead to a bad experience for the person just trying it.  This can create a situation where they are unwilling to volunteer.  5)  Do you take the time to find a new person to teach how to be an officer, or autocrat, or cook a feast, or do you just do it yourself because it is easier than trying to explain it?  Is that a service or disservice to you and your group? 6)  Appealing events:  People will travel to things that interest them.  They will also stay home for things that interest them.  When the local functions and events lose their luster, or are too limited in scope, people won't attend.  (i.e. the ages old debate:  Why should I attend <fighter practice/arts night> when I don't do that? 7)  Overall time consideration:  Some people have just random bits of time to do SCA things.  Often, if someone just has one weekend every once in a while off work, they might go to whatever event is happening that weekend.  The same people may not have the time or desire to do SCA things for hours upon hours every week, or take an office which requires an extended time committment. 8)  Personality conflicts:  Some people just don't want to work with others, and cannot hide that.  So they don't put themselves in a position to do so.If you are feeling overburdened and losing your desire to do these things, ask someone to do it.  Encourage people to do it. Help them feel welcome.  Let people know that any form of contribution is welcome, whether it is one hour or many.  Say thank you. Give small tokens of appreciation, even if you are not a peer. Take a break for yourself if you need to - things *will* get done in some fashion even if you aren't the one to do them.  If nobody is volunteering to host the traditional event, maybe it is time to look at the bigger picture about why that is the case. I know this sounds funny coming from the person with one of the floatiest helium hands around.  But I know that I am still having fun with this, every day, and when it seems like it is a burden, these are the kinds of questions I am asking myself.  With sincere concern and consideration for all involved,Thea-=-=-=-=-THL Theodora of Trebizond Currently residing in the the Barony of Loch SalannFormer resident of Sentinels' Keep and Bronzehelm"You are all learners, doers, teachers." -Richard Bach

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