[Artemisia] Festering again, I see...

[El Hermoso Dormiendo]

On Friday 10 March 2006 08:15, Morgan Wolf wrote:
> I have to say this-
>
> Therasia, Caontairn, did you consider for a moment *before* posting
> something that publicly questions the abilities of the Steward
[...] 

Okay, firstly I should point out that Therasia only expressed frustration at 
not being able to get any kind of scheduling information.  I do not see that 
merely mentioning a difficulty with the lack of available event information 
"publicly questions the ability of the Steward".

That said, there's a bigger problem here in my opinion.

This Kingdom just can't handle giving or recieving criticism.

Seriously - every time something bothers people, they are afraid to say 
anything lest questioning anything be seen as "rude", and so it just festers 
until people can't stand it any more and it bluntly explodes, people throw 
fits at and about each other on the mailing list (and, I'm guessing, in 
whispered gatherings at events), and nothing ever gets fixed because 
"obviously" people are just being unreasonable, inconsiderate jerks for 
complaining about the problem (if one's opinion is on one side of the issue) 
or refusing to address the problem (if one's opinion is on the other side of 
the issue) or for being big meanies in public (if you just don't care about 
either side of the issue).

Heck, I'm half-expecting loud protests and grumbling at and/or about me for 
even saying this.  That being the case, I may as well go ahead and throw in 
my own opinion on the particular situation that started this thread.

Let me bare my soul, just a bit. (Quick!  Cover the childrens' eyes!)

There are reasons I haven't been showing up at many events lately (even 
besides "being out of the state all last year" and "insanely carrying more 
than a full-time-and-a-half courseload in college right now").

Firstly, you may or may not know it, but my wife suffers from a rare 
affliction.  It's always difficult to know when it's going to flare up, and 
it makes things very uncomfortable when it does.

I refer, of course, to Lycanthropy.

Unfortunately, she doesn't do the traditional "when the moon is full, she 
becomes a wolf" thing.  I could cope with that.  I tend to get along pretty 
well with my Canine-American compatriates.

Instead, when the stress-level is full, she becomes a porcupine.  It's kind of 
like what happens to "The Incredible Hulk(tm)", except my wife is much 
prettier.  And not green.  And has longer hair.  Well, you get the general 
idea.  

As you can imagine, being madly in love with a porcupine can be painful at 
times, even a lovely and talented one such as I am married to.  (There is a 
point to this, honest, just keep reading...)

Obviously, then, I'd personally like to avoid situations that stress my wife 
out.

Secondly, I - personally - am actually LEAST interested in the "costume party" 
aspect of the SCA[1].  There, I said it.  I recognize that makes me the 
opposite of what appears to be the majority (and, no, I don't have any 
delusions that I can or even should try to make everyone else change to match 
MY tastes) but nonetheless it's true.  "Sitting in court" is not high on my 
list of things I have an interest in doing either, I'm afraid.  It makes me 
feel like a bit of a lone freak, sometimes.  On the other hand, the parts I 
am MOST interested in seem to be less of interest to most people here.

Finally, both my wife and I have a lot going on out here in the Waking World.  
So much so that I'd say it always means shirking our responsibilities (at 
least temporarily) to make time to show up at an SCA event.

So:

While I don't think I've ever been at an SCA event in ANY kingdom that ran "on 
time" to any great extent, not having much information about what will be 
taking place at an event means I cannot tell whether what I would most need 
to pack to attend would be caffeine (to be able to drive home after staying 
way too late because the event was so much fun) or "band-aids" (to patch 
quill-wounds[2] all over my body).  In short - I hate having to "gamble" on 
whether an event is going to be pleasant and interesting for myself and/or my 
wife (in general, if it's pleasant for my wife, it'll be at least "not bad" 
for me personally.  On the other hand if it's unpleasant for my wife, it's 
just about impossible for it to be pleasant for me.  Given how hard she works 
on everything she does, it's always pleasantly gratifying for me when she can 
relax and be happy, and distressing when it seems like she's unhappy.  What 
can I say, I'm a softie.)

If there are no particular occurances planned at the event, then it's "just 
hanging out".  This isn't necessarily bad - there actually are lots of people 
who are a joy to "just hang out" with in this Kingdom...but if that's all it 
is, I'd rather personally do it in a context that doesn't require special 
clothing...and doesn't make my wife stress out over when we need to arrive.

Similarly, since Medieval European Food is a personal interest, I like to be 
able to have some hints as to whether or not a "feast" is going to be good 
authentic medieval European food or not.  Again it's not necessarily a bad 
thing if not, but if I'm going to eat good NOT-"period" food, I would much 
prefer to do so in a context that doesn't require special clothing.

I don't know how unique my situation is here, but if anyone else out there has 
similar matters to deal with, then presumably what I'm saying here might be 
relevant to turnout at events.  And if I really AM just a lone freak, well, 
at least this'll give people the key to either keeping this lowly pest (me) 
away or suckering me in as desired.

signed,
El Hermoso Dormiendo, who is worried he's catching the Crankiness[3] that's 
going around lately...

[1] Everyone has rules they come up with as they observe how life works and 
how it affects them.  One of my rules is "Always be suspicious of any 
activity that requires special clothes"...

[2] The perverse pun regarding the scribal and porcupinal double-meaning of 
"quill" was unavoidable...

[3] Does it count as a "pun" that "Krankenheit" is German for "sickness"?...