[Artemisia] Kingdom of Heaven mk II (A review)

[Dan S.]

Greetings,

I was among the people who had high hopes for this movie originally, only to have those hopes dashed in the theater by a fair to mediocre movie at best.

Well now we know why.

Turns out the version that got released to the theaters was NOT the version Ridley Scott wanted. The new version is.

It has the full Peter Jackson treatment, 4 disks and over 40 more minutes.

Here is some questions from the original movie that are now made plain in the final cut.

#1 Why did Balian's brother the monk have such a grudge against him and treat his wife so badly. (oh wait! you didn't KNOW the Monk was Balian's half brother did YOU??!!)

#2 How come Balian gets a 5 minute lesson from his daddy on how to twirl a sword and later that afternoon he was a ninja?

#3 <spoiler>David Thewliss MAY be an angel. 

#4 What is the difference between a blacksmith and a seasoned Engineer?

#5 Why did Guy inherit the throne of Jerusalem? Wasn't Sabilla's son next in line? (Oh WAIT! there WAS NO SABILLA'S SON in the hacked up theatrical release!!!!)

#6 Wasn't that the grave digger from Balian's old village with the big nose on the wall and during the knighting ceremony?

#7 What happened to Guy after we see him paraded in a pope hat backwards on a donkey?

#8 Can the Crown Prince of An Tir inherit both the An Tir Throne AND the Barony of Ibalin?

I was disappointed in Orlando Bloom too, but the new version gives his performance MUCH more weight. Perfect? no, but because the rest of the flick is so much better his shortcoming become much less glaring as a leading man. I actually found myself enjoying him rather than being annoyed by him.

So find a copy of the new version, give your old theatrical copy to someone you don't like. You will NOT be disappointed (anymore)

In Service,

Sir Daniel (Knight of Outremere and An Tir)