[Artemisia] Heraldic Suicide (was: For Dicussion - College of Heraldry return in 2000)

[Dr. C. M. Helm-Clark Ph.D.]

> > First of all, I'd like to say that overall I appreciate the College  
> > of Heralds for attempting to ensure that when we go to the trouble to  
> > register our names and devices, they are protected. For example, I  
> > fully support their protection of Adelicia Gilwell's arms. But, to me  
> > (a French speaker) the word pomme sounds very unlike the word palme-- 
> > they have completely different vowel sounds, and there's no l in  
> > pomme--and when I hear them, they conjure completely different images  
> > in my head. It's kind of like saying that "The Golden Poem" and "The  
> > Golden Palm" are the same in English. In addition, I think the French  
> > speakers who organize the Cannes Film Festival would laugh at this  
> > protection rather than appreciating it, not because they take their  
> > intellectual property lightly, but because, they too, would hear  
> > these words completely differently.

I find I have a completely different take on this issue than Shauna does
- and maybe that's why I don't play book heraldry anymore, something I
used to spend a great deal of time on...  I agree with your take on the
silliness of the name conflict decision - and it is exactly that in my
mind: silly.  To me, it's like there's the SCA - and then above and beyond
it, there's SCA Heraldry...  It's kinda like saying, there's life and then
there's what it taken as real in a court of law...  Have you even had the
misadventure of sitting through a court case, especially a civil suit?
Basically, there's common sense - and then there's the law...  It's how
we get million dollar decisions against McDonald's for spilled coffee and 
assault convictions in California in cases where someone told an unruly 
customer they were no longer welcome in a store...

That's the analogy that I've come to apply to the College of Arms over
the years - and I'm speaking as one who used to be counted among the
CoA faithful.  Now I'm a heretic.  And I have nothing against the Laurel
in charge when the decision was made - I have known Elsbeth Ann Roth since
she was a rank newby in the SCA, and I'll say no more before I really
date myself (which I know would make my husband jealous, since he doesn't
like it when I go out on dates that aren't with him, even when I'm just
dating me...silly boy...).  Anyway, Elsbeth Ann Roth is a sweet kid..er, gal...

But some of the College of Arms (aka CoA) decisions over the years do
push a lot of limits of incredulity, not as they are seen in "heraldic
space" but as they are seen by normal everyday populous types who look at
the world through eyes not skewed by the SCA heraldic perspective. My
personal opinion is that you have hit upon the single largest failing of
the CoA in the SCA.  In many ways, the books heralds live in a world a
bit removed from the rest of us.  Basically I agree with you: there is
an obvious difference between the Palme d'Or and a Pomme d'Or, and as
someone who grew up listening to enough Quebecois to be able to order
petit dejeuner and not be laughed at in Montreal, I would opine that at
least most New Englanders and the residents of the Republique Populaire
de Quebec would know the difference right off the bat, not to mention
all the folks you pointed out in Fifth Republic...especially if you 
consider that most of the French speakers think of those words as LaPalme
and LePomme, not as Palme and Pomme...  but here across the ocean in the
over-sensitized american culture of five billion disclaimers on your
coffee cups and billions of unnecessary SCA waivers forever on file, I
think the wash-over of needless protections spreads as far as the CoA
where senior heralds assume conflict and offense over the non-problem
of someone French mistaking La Palme for Le Pomme.  It is a failure to
apply common sense on who would really be offended...as you have already
rightfully concluded.

I do not want to give the impression that heralds suck in the SCA...
because they certainly do not.  Heralds as an office do not have any 
problems above and beyond any other office in the SCA. There are great
heralds and there are not so great heralds and one can say that about
any and every office in the SCA Inc.  Heralds do not qualify as the
spawn of Satan, etc., etc. etc...

There are and have been some tremendous book heralds in the SCA.  I had
dinner with another refugee of the CoA in June in DC where he was telling
me how he might get a job with the Army in their office that designs
unit heraldry, in part because of his expertise, most of it grown in
the SCA, on real world heraldry. Some of the SCA heraldic expertise has
been truly world-class - but I am afraid that some of it has been more
akin to legalistic skewed viewpoints too, where Palmes and equated with
Pommes  -but I can name you examples of where the sound comparison standard
has failed spectacularly (e.g. Ella de Verne vs. Eilis O'Bourne) and wily
people continually game the system to take advantage of the gaps in 
self-appointed expertise of amateur experts in the CoA (e.g. Joseph and Emma
of Palmyra - how the hell did they get those names passed???  Anyone up for
testing Rosamonde of the Garden as a name sub???).  It's a damning way 
to state the problem, but I can think of no tactful way to saywhat I have 
found (and many others have also found) over the years: the conflict standards
are flawed on the side of being silly and the court of appeals on bounces is 
not unbiased because it's Laurel, who is the grand poobah of the whole biased 
submission system and not someone who necessarily lives on the ground with the 
rest of us who know that apples are not fronds...

Opinion: the heraldic submission workers of the SCA are invested in a 
self-perpetuating skewed viewpoint on conflict that is somewhat removed from
street-level common sense and is incapable of being fixed because the experts
with the knowledge to fix it are source of the skewed viewpoint to begin with.
(physician heal thyself?)  And the system will continue to pass things that
should bounce and bounce things that should pass because no panel of self-
appointed amateur experts that volunteer to vet conflicts with a growing 
number of subsmissions and a falling number of volunteers will ever be able
to tackle the problem successfully - as I predicted in 1987 in the proceedings
of the Known World Heraldic Symposium back when we could have actually done
something to fix the system and now have lost the opportunity, maybe forever...
but that's a whole different post for some other evening of ranting, again
with the feeling that it's just hot air because the CoA (and the whole SCA) 
will likely fall apart and fail as an organization because the flaws are 
inherent in the founding vision of the group back in 1966-1968 and there's no 
one at the top with the perspective, vision and ability to make the needed 
changes...geez, how's that for an optimistic outlook???

just my opinion, folks - and as I am fond of pointing out, opinions are
like sphincters...everyone has one or more...

I have my asbestos garb on for any new or used heralds who wish to disagree...
otherwise, I'll just crawl back into my hole now...
;-)

ttfn
Therasia
(please note new preferred email address...)