[Artemisia] Our most recent research on unique Artemisian phenomenon

[Cat]

Ave!

I know many of you are aware of the years'-long research that El  
Hermoso Dormiendo and I have conducted on the nature of the Casamira  
Effect, that strange phenomenon where the incidence and/or frequency  
of punning increases as one approaches the locus of Artemisian  
punning, Baroness Casamira.  Certainly, many of the northern  
residents of Artemisia already know about the area of influence of  
the Casamira Effect, which appears to be first measurable 24 leagues  
north (or 576 Furlongs in the English System of King Edward I) of  
Castle Jawjalny when the Baroness herself is in residence.  Once  
across the threshold, pun intensity increases as one approaches the  
locus of Artemisian punning.  On the northern approach to the Barony  
of Loch Salaan, while traveling along the King's Highway, careful  
measurements show that the Casamira Effect increases by 1 over the  
square root of 2 times the quantity of the measurement threshold  
distance minus the distance to Castle Jawjalny.

If we left our research at this point without more data, our results  
would indeed be puny.  Careful observation has established, however,  
that the Effect is not a regular shape.  The Casamira Effect is first  
measurable 24 leagues to the north of its default locus (defined  
henceforth as Castle Jawjalny when the Baroness is in residence), but  
the threshold of measurement is 15 leagues if one approaches from the  
south along the King's Highway, only 10 leagues if one approaches  
from the west along the Trade Road through the Cynaguan Desert and 12  
leagues if one approaches from the East on the Pennsic Road.

We have a new set of observations to present to you.  We have  
observed that the shape defined by the punning threshold distance of  
the Casamira Effect indeed changes when the Baroness is in transit  
and that it does not maintain the shape observed for the default  
locus - a phenomenon that has really been bugging us though it has  
not been plaguing us to the point of sickness, we are happy to  
reposte.  After careful measurements made around the transitory locus  
of Artemisian punning, defined here as the position of Baroness  
Casamira in transit (sic transit gloria pundi), we have developed a  
new working hypothesis - to wit, that the transitory locus is  
influenced by water.

We are not all washed up here.  This hypothesis indeed floats,  
especially since we can show that the boundary conditions represented  
by the default locus satisfy the most-recent Casamira Effect equation  
postulated by Pundit et al. in AS XXXX.  In fact, we didn't realize  
that the influence of water was a universal effect until we collected  
enough data to make these observations, implying that the default  
locus of punning is not a case of special punditivity but is rather a  
special case of general punditivity

For the default locus, we can clearly see that there is a first order  
correlation between surface waters and the Casamira effect.  The  
default locus threshold distance to the north is strongly tied to the  
northern extent of the Great Brine Shrimp Lake.  To the south, it  
correlates with the southern terminus of the large freshwater lake  
immediately to the west of the Shire of Arrows' Flight.  To the east,  
the default Casamira Effect correlates to the water course in the  
canyon between the western border of Otherhill and Loch Salaan  
proper.  The smallest default threshold distance to the west  
correlates to place where the Great Brine Shrimp Lake ends and the  
desert begins along the Trade Road to Cynagua.

Our newest measurement of the default locus threshold distance, 37  
leagues measured along the road between Gryphon's Lair and Twae  
Linnes, correlates to where the marsh north of the Great Brine Shrimp  
Lake ends and the southern foothills of the Barony of One Thousand  
Eyes begin.  Ergo, the default locus threshold distances for the  
Casamira Effect satisfy the water-influence boundary conditions  
swimmingly.

Our new observations of the Casamira Effect for when the punning  
locus is in transit demonstrate that the water influence indeed  
scales.  The new working hypothesis also sinks the previous  
hypothesis, i.e. that the Casamira Effect is influenced by the  
proximity of foods prepared in a Medieval manner.  There was always  
something fishy about the Medieval Food hypothesis, which now turns  
out to be a red herring.

Though we have made measurements of the Casamira Effect throughout  
the kingdom, we only have room here to present one example. At  
Uprising XX, we found that the Casamira Effect was stronger when it  
was raining.  We also observed that the threshold distances were  
almost negligible to the north and south but were quite large 25  
leagues west of Uprising, where the King's Highway is next to the  
Serpent River, and 17 leagues east of Uprising along the Serpent  
River on the road to Otherhill.  More than anything else, the  
shipwreck of the Medieval Food hypothesis is most obvious here since  
the old theory would have rowed out much larger threshold distances  
to the north and south where none were observed.

The influence of water on the Casamira Effect is inarguable.  The  
data speaks for itself.  The water influence, however, doesn't  
explain the occasionally-observed time decay of the Casamira Effect,  
which can be up to 500 millifortnights.  We believe this phenomenon  
can be explained if the Casamira Effect is time dependent where the  
relationship between puns and time can be expressed by a non-linear  
differential punquation whose solution shows that puns occur as  
discrete quanta - not be confused with the merchant organization that  
ships goods and passengers between the West, Caid and Lochac.

When we study the Casamira Effect in a crowd chamber (e.g., in the  
Grand Pavilion before court at Uprising), our observations suggest  
that when a pun occurs, the Casamira Effect waveform collapses to a  
punicle.  Whether the Casamira Effect behaves like a waveform or a  
punicle is dictated by the VonTuxenberg Uncertainty Principle, i.e.,  
if you know the frequency of punning, you can not predict the  
location of Baroness Casamira, but if you do know the location of  
Baroness Casamira, then you can't predict the rate of punicle  
emission or pun frequency.  We have also observed that there appear  
to be three different forms of punicles: snicker, snort and groan.  
(We wish to point out that the groaning punicle should not be  
confused with the particle known as the pineapple-upside down quirk  
which was recently discovered in the Barony of Western Seas where  
someone sitting on a pineapple was said to be on the dole...)

This is really exciting, cutting-edge research - but no matter how  
you slice it, we will have to cut down on our research without your  
generous contributions.  Further Casamira Effect research will be  
butchered without your help.  This is why we ask you for your  
largesse when we present this year's fund-raising puntathalon, hosted  
by Hotmooch Braden.

At the risk of being blazon, we are well aware that current economic  
conditions for pursuivants are especially severe this year.  We  
really don't want any members of the College of Arms to go out on a  
limb for us - so with respect to donating, we will understand if  
heralds cant.

Vat.

Submitted on June 17, AS XXXXI
by Therasia von Tux,
Doctor of Natural Philosophy