[Artemisia] FW: Things I'm not allowed to do anymore

[Lady Syeira of Schattentor]

This is a list from my friend Exel and some of his friends in the Outlands.....ya think he gets in a bit of trouble???
   
  Enjoy the humor!
  Lady Syeira of Schattentor
  Barony of ArnHold
   
   
  I am not allowed to let my squire brother kill the army commander
right after orders are given before a major battle.
*even if it is deserved.
*even if he is first in line.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
I am not allowed to use any of my squire brothers as collateral for a bet.
*or payment of a bet.
*even for beer.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
I am not allowed to put a member of my fighting unit on the end of a
spear for "better reach"
*even if it is not technically against the rules
*even if she is small enough in full armor
*especially if she is fighting sword and shield
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
If attacking the fort, I am not allowed to knock and say
"Pizza delivery"
or
"Candygram"
Or
"landshark"
Or any quote any skit from SNL.
*even if a knight starts it.
*especially if my knight starts it.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Royal retainers are not allowed to respond with "God wills it!" when
ever they are given a command by the king.
*Even if the king's persona is a crusader.
*especially if the king's persona is a viking.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Royal retainers are not allowed to tell people they are on the "goon
squad"
or "the royal secret police"
*especially when delivering summons by the king.
*even if they are.
*especially if they are.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
I am not allowed to sing "ten little indians" while hitting enemy
fighters with a pole arm.
*even if they are good shots.
*especially if I get a rhythm going.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
I am not allowed to mark my armor with yellow duct tape and call
myself a mass weapon.
I am not allowed to mark heavy fighters with yellow duct tape and call
them mass weapons.
I am not allowed to mark laurels with yellow duct tape and call them
mass weapons of destruction

   
  I am not allowed to Lo-Jack the enemy commander so we can find him and
kill him.

I am not allowed to put cash bounties on the heads of people on my own
side.

I am not allowed to have strippers on the sidelines to distract opponents.

I am not allowed to put enemy color stickers on the back of the helmet
of my household members right before a battle

Even if it is really funny
  

I am not allowed to throw a brick of fire crackers into a fire in the
Atenveldt camp at Estrella, scream "OUTLANDS!" and run.

I am no longer allowed to "annex" neighboring groups to the local
group by applying the modifiers: east, west, north, or south. 

Golf cart Jousting is a bad idea

Exel


       
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