[Artemisia] FW: Things I'm not allowed to do anymore

[Gene Mealey]

Oh Lady Syeria...
That has got to be one of the funniest posts I've seen in a while.
If even half of it's true, this guy's my hero...
Antoine
BSK

"who's been given some really good ideas..."



> Date: Tue, 8 Jan 2008 21:36:27 -0800
> From: ladysyeira at yahoo.com
> To: arnhold at yahoogroups.com; artemisia at lists.gallowglass.org
> Subject: [Artemisia] FW: Things I'm not allowed to do anymore
> 
> This is a list from my friend Exel and some of his friends in the Outlands.....ya think he gets in a bit of trouble???
>    
>   Enjoy the humor!
>   Lady Syeira of Schattentor
>   Barony of ArnHold
>    
>    
>   I am not allowed to let my squire brother kill the army commander
> right after orders are given before a major battle.
> *even if it is deserved.
> *even if he is first in line.
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
> I am not allowed to use any of my squire brothers as collateral for a bet.
> *or payment of a bet.
> *even for beer.
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
> I am not allowed to put a member of my fighting unit on the end of a
> spear for "better reach"
> *even if it is not technically against the rules
> *even if she is small enough in full armor
> *especially if she is fighting sword and shield
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
> If attacking the fort, I am not allowed to knock and say
> "Pizza delivery"
> or
> "Candygram"
> Or
> "landshark"
> Or any quote any skit from SNL.
> *even if a knight starts it.
> *especially if my knight starts it.
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
> Royal retainers are not allowed to respond with "God wills it!" when
> ever they are given a command by the king.
> *Even if the king's persona is a crusader.
> *especially if the king's persona is a viking.
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
> Royal retainers are not allowed to tell people they are on the "goon
> squad"
> or "the royal secret police"
> *especially when delivering summons by the king.
> *even if they are.
> *especially if they are.
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
> I am not allowed to sing "ten little indians" while hitting enemy
> fighters with a pole arm.
> *even if they are good shots.
> *especially if I get a rhythm going.
> ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
> I am not allowed to mark my armor with yellow duct tape and call
> myself a mass weapon.
> I am not allowed to mark heavy fighters with yellow duct tape and call
> them mass weapons.
> I am not allowed to mark laurels with yellow duct tape and call them
> mass weapons of destruction
> 
>    
>   I am not allowed to Lo-Jack the enemy commander so we can find him and
> kill him.
> 
> I am not allowed to put cash bounties on the heads of people on my own
> side.
> 
> I am not allowed to have strippers on the sidelines to distract opponents.
> 
> I am not allowed to put enemy color stickers on the back of the helmet
> of my household members right before a battle
> 
> Even if it is really funny
>   
> 
> I am not allowed to throw a brick of fire crackers into a fire in the
> Atenveldt camp at Estrella, scream "OUTLANDS!" and run.
> 
> I am no longer allowed to "annex" neighboring groups to the local
> group by applying the modifiers: east, west, north, or south. 
> 
> Golf cart Jousting is a bad idea
> 
> Exel
> 
> 
>        
> ---------------------------------
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