[Artemisia] Artemisia Digest, Vol 136, Issue 7

[CenturyLink Customer]

Gwendolyn, 

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time of it... breaking into a new group and actually feeling like you are a part of 'the whole' can be a trying experience, that's for certain. 

I'm not saying it's right or wrong - the no kid thing - only this... at least they gave you some warning before you showed up and plopped yer hard earned money on that table.  I think it would have been worse for both you and  your kids to show up and have them be the only kids present? For me, that would be awkward as you know what.  At least with advance warning, you don't spend all that time, and cash prepping for it, only to feel more out of place than usual? 

That just might be another way to look at it? 

At the same time, also consider this... for the occassional high court event, where you might personally have spent anywhere from a few dollars to several hundred dollars (or more) to create that 'special gown' or gentlemanly attire, would you really want to provide the opportunity for someone else's child to unintentionally smear whatever happens to be in their hands, mouths (or other places) at the time all over it? Be honest now, it happens, and is rarely if ever intentional. I also would not want to be presented with the cleaning and/or replacement bill if such a thing were to happen and my own child was responsible (even innocently) If you are at a fancy resturant with your spouse celebrating some very special 'time away from the kids for a change with friends' only to find other people's kids running amuck and spoiling the ambiance for you? How does it make you feel (something you might want to try to find out.  And lastly,  Even Cinderella wasn't a child when she finally got to go to her first ball.. and neither was anybody else there.  Gives a kid something to look forward to in their future? 

Yet again, other perspectives? 

Haven't read completely through all the charters recently, but I don't remember anything about all events have to be 'family friendly' have you found such a reference? Julianna should be able to tell you whether or not it's a 'requirement'. I do however wish you a ton of luck working more 'diplomatically' with your local group so that they have a better understanding as to your point of view and perhaps also that of your children. 

As a parent and a grand parent as well as a prior youth officer both at my local barony and kingdom level, I can tell you that there will come a time when putting up the cash or finding someone you can trust that will do it for free... so you can leave the kids with a sitter... is indeed the 'right thing to do. 

Best wishes to all of you. 

Bethoc